Back then in Malaysia when I was in high school, I attended many courses and seminars on how to improve my emotional quotient (EQ). By attending those, I felt that I am more than a usual me. In some sense that I am more easy-going, do not throw emotion easily, and a more confident person. By improving myself, my social circle is growing wider, and more friends approach me as I received compliments that I am approachable, kind and helpful.
There was one particular interpersonal conflict that was still fresh in my mind. I was having my last year study in high school when that incident occurred. One day, my friends and I were going nuts. We were acting childish and started to play chasing game. There was one classmate (I shall refer him to "T") was not in a good mood. I was still playing the chasing game and I didn't notice T walking out of classroom. By the door, I knocked into him. I thought he knocked into me purposely, and so I stared at him. He glared at me too, thinking that I was at fault at the same time. After that, I didn't really care about it, as it was just small matter. I thought that it was time to stop this nonsense, so I stopped playing. I got back to my chair and continued my studies. T continued his glaring at me, and once a while angrily he pushed his chair around. The other classmates actually saw that scene, and they also felt that it was T's fault that he was trying to "ambush" me because of a personal matter. I doubted it. For quite a number of days, my classmates started ignoring T and boycotted him in class. Being observant, I observed that abnormalities in class. I actually didn't mean it when I came to my sense, but I was the type that couldn't express myself properly. I was feeling sorry that he was treated that way.
About 3 weeks after the incident, my closest female classmates W, advised me to talk to T personally. I was quite surprised that he actually wanted to discussed the incident with me directly. We chose one early morning to talk about the incident. T originally had a scary appearance (facial gesture) and I didn't really talk much. W had a good communication skill, so she helped me to explain the actual situation. I did explain the situation and T explained to me in his usual scary facial gesture, with high and fierce tone. I knew that I have to apologize to him, since it was my fault for causing such misunderstanding. I apologized to him sincerely, and gave him a handshake to indicate the ending of this small incident.
From this incident, I knew that I shouldn't let my emotion sway around, causing such disgrace and misunderstanding. That's where emotional intelligence in effective communication comes in. I may not be a good communicator, but I always apologize whenever I knock into someone, or someone knock into me. It doesn't matter who is at fault, as long as we maintain the concept of peace and also do not stir up the relationship.If emotional intelligence is greatly promoted, would you think that conflicts can be reduced and this world will become a better world?
